Dad with a gun

Fatherhood and husbandry have caused a shifting in personality for me, or an awakening. Growing up I was known for timidity, endured racial discrimination and stereotypes by simply smiling and waving. I was the shoulder to cry on for a lot of beautiful women without advising that they “drop their zeroes and get with this hero.” I was the guy bridging the gap between cultures that begged for both worlds to view the others as normal and equal.

Then it happened; I got married. I met the love my life and turned into Rambo with my wife in my ear declaring “Rambo, you no expendable!” The nice guy went on vacation and the protector took his place. I would begin holding my wife’s hand when crossing in parking lots; keeping my head on a swivel. I would try to guide her words in heated conversations with others to avoid playing out the visions that I had of me coming off the top rope like Jimmy Superfly Snuka.

That wasn’t all! My first child pushed the passive me further out of the galaxy- the birth of a visionary. Any cowardice that once took residence in me was evicted. It is one thing to appear soft in front of your spouse, but in front of a child? And with that I welcomed Nina into my home. It was through careful thought that I welcomed another woman into my house to live and help raise my family. She was simply insurance that my job would be done without anxiety of being inadequately equipped when there is a thump in the night. Nina is a nine millimeter without feelings or soul. I asked my wife who should go investigate if there is a loud crash in the night. Her response of course was,”you!” My response,”instead of looking for shoes and bats to hopefully hold an intruder off for the police, I will let Nina handle my light work; she won’t think about it.” I am not trigger happy, hotheaded, I am a Dad and a husband that has been awakened.

Cowardice

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