sedated

i apologize to the people that I encountered between 1994 to 2003 that only got glimpes of the real me and liked that me.
what you got was a sedated individual out of touch with the troubled waters of the subconscious
every blind encounter with no prep time caused this machine to shut down and stutter
re re re really trying to just blink and breathe so passing out does not become the end of the story
so i apologize if just getting over it seems a task too daunting to achieve without caffeine or st john’s wort, or the drowsy feeling of sudafed, tylenol pm, even nyquil when no sniff exist at the time.
But i was trying to survive the battle of lacking confidence in my mind,
even when my actions flashed signs of greatness.
Please be patient with me.
I promise to evolve.

South Side Chronicles-Brother

Got a tip from my brother that moving from urbanization would not be an easy transition. He assured me that too much talking would result in multiple fat lips. So I humbly eased into South Rome. I watched Cubbert roast a guy at the park one Saturday morning. Then when the dude said something about his grandmother, he smashed the dude’s head into the metal stares where we sat. So my big brother saved me from some major fat lips. He taught me how to study to be quiet. Lesson learned Bro!
Fashion was a must regardless of how much money you had. More than studies we would either hand wash outfits for the next day, or clean shoes. Big bro taught me how to keep it nice and fresh. I may not have been the suavest, but clean was a must. Check my record through time and you will not find one story of bad body odor from the Jackson boys. Cleanliness is next to godliness. Lesson learned Bro!
Stay away from the dope gain is what I gathered from my bro. It was going on all around us, and we to this day reserve no judgement for our homies. The bro and I had a fear of going to prison. With all of the dope around me, I never went to prison. Crack is wack! Say not to Drugs! Lesson learned Bro!
Sunday school was pretty cool, but it was the store time in between Sunday School and church that I enjoyed. We would go to Ms. Margaret’s store, using the money that we kept back from the Lord! I was only doing what I learned from my elders! My brother was one of my elders responsible for teaching me how to hold a little money back so that you could get your snack on. Know when to hold em and know when to fold em! Lesson learned Bro!
I never realized how much I was modeling my life after my brother, but the pattern is the reason that I beat the statistics. Peace and blessings Big Bro!

South Side Chronicles-Service

It is necessary that we take pauses often enough to pay homage to those that helped us remain at our current positions, even if we are unhappy.
For every moment that we can open our eyes and inhale,
we awake with the potential for the miraculous to happen.
My purpose in this issue of South Rome Chronicles is to pay homage to a man that helped awaken the service that is in me. We lived about four houses down from Shawn and he played the role of another big brother. He cut my hair, was my bodyguard, basically kept me in line, let me know that he was always supporting me despite the odd paths that I would often take. One day we were walking from the bus stop and I heard a faint voice coming from a creepy looking house. The voice was a raspy whisper like something out of a horror flick. So I was naturally in flight mode. Just as I took was about to run Shawn said,”Man that’s the old man wanting us to go to the store for him.” “Stop being so scary!” We went to the old man’s stairs and into this small hovel of a home, and their lied this 70 plus year old man that could barely do for himself. He simply wanted us to go to the store, get him a couple of cans of Beenie Weenies and a can of drink. He even offered to give us the change. Shawn held on to the money, made the purchase at C-Mo’s store about two blocks away, and not only returned the items but the change as well.
Today Shawn and his team have feed thousands of people in the Metro Atlanta Area a year, with no intentions of taking glory for himself. He used to my hair for free, feed me, share clothes with me, and he shared his gift of service with me. I love this guy like we are blood brothers. Peace Flizoyd!

insanity

someone has again sought to minimize a most serious matter
more serious than calling a noun a verb
but calling insanity something less than its existing words-definition
continuing to do something expecting different results by one’s standards is persistence.