sedated

i apologize to the people that I encountered between 1994 to 2003 that only got glimpes of the real me and liked that me.
what you got was a sedated individual out of touch with the troubled waters of the subconscious
every blind encounter with no prep time caused this machine to shut down and stutter
re re re really trying to just blink and breathe so passing out does not become the end of the story
so i apologize if just getting over it seems a task too daunting to achieve without caffeine or st john’s wort, or the drowsy feeling of sudafed, tylenol pm, even nyquil when no sniff exist at the time.
But i was trying to survive the battle of lacking confidence in my mind,
even when my actions flashed signs of greatness.
Please be patient with me.
I promise to evolve.

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